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You’re still crushing on your ex, and you want them back fast. Fortunately, texting them is a great way to reconnect and get them to miss you. Crafting the perfect opening text is fairly easy, and we’ll even help you out with what to say. Once you break the ice, focus on reconnecting with your ex so you can rebuild attraction and trust. Keep reading to find out what to text to get your ex back fast.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, Connell Barrett, founder of Dating Transformation. Check out the full interview here.

1 of 12:
“Can you help me with something?”

  1. Asking for advice is a simple, easy way to start a conversation. Use your knowledge about them to ask for expert advice. It’ll make them feel good about themselves, so they’ll probably respond back quickly. Here are some variations on this text:
    • "Can you recommend a good video game for my brother’s birthday?"
    • "I just got a new guitar. Any tips for a beginner?"
    • "My laptop keeps restarting. Any advice on how to fix it?"
    • "I’m choosing classes for next semester. Was that graphic design course you took worth it?"
    • "I can’t get past level 58 on Game Quest. Any advice?"
    • "I just got a new puppy! When did you start teaching your dog tricks?"
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3 of 12:
“This made me think of you.”

  1. Show them you remember details from your relationship. Tell them you've recently seen or heard something that connects back to their interests, hobbies, or goals. Hopefully, they’ll text you back and you can keep the conversation going. Here are some ways to say you’re thinking of them:
    • "I just heard our song, and it made me think of you."
    • "I rewatched the Harry Potter series last weekend. I couldn’t help but think of you."
    • "I’m at a baseball game and can’t stop thinking about watching you play."
    • "I just saw a stream of your favorite game, it reminded me of you."
    • "This meme made me think of you."
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9 of 12:
“I’m really sorry for what I did. Can I ever make it up to you?”

  1. Send an apology text if you made a mistake in the past. You might start here if you really hurt them while you were together. Tell them that you know you messed up and promise that you’ll treat them better in the future.[3] Here are some ways you could apologize:
    • "I’ve been thinking a lot about how I hurt you. I regret what I did so much, and I really want to make things right."
    • "I know I made some mistakes in our relationship. I’ve really been working on myself, and I know things can be different."
    • "I’m so sorry for hurting you. What I did was wrong, and I promise I’ve changed. Can you give me another chance?"
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11 of 12:
“Wanna come to a group hangout?”

  1. Invite them to hangout with a group as a first step. Your goal is to get them back, but you might not be ready to ask them for a date. A group hangout is a great first step to rekindling what you had in the past.[4] You could try something like this:
    • "There’s a game night at Yuli’s house this weekend. Wanna come?"
    • "A group of us are going bowling this weekend. Want to join us?"
    • "I’m forming a study group for English class. We’re meeting at the coffee house tomorrow at 4:00 p.m. if you want to come."
    • "Ling is starting a sci-fi book club, and I thought you’d be interested. We’re going to meet this Saturday to pick the first book. Do you want to come?"
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12 of 12:
“Do you want to go out?”

  1. Ask them out on a date when you feel ready. You’re probably really eager to get them back, but getting back together takes a bit of time. Start reconnecting by going on a date.[5] Here are some ways to ask them out:
    • "I’ve been craving Mexican food lately. Wanna get dinner with me at Cafe Bonita this Friday?"
    • "I still want a mini golf rematch. Would you be up for a round this Saturday?"
    • "I really miss laughing with you. Are you open to grabbing coffee tomorrow afternoon so we can catch up?"
    • "I have an extra ticket to the game this weekend. Would you be interested in going with me?"

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      • Stop texting your ex if they’ve made it clear they want to be left alone. It’s really important to respect their space.
      • Make sure you know why you want your ex back. If you’re just lonely, it might be best to move on, even though it’s really hard. Try focusing on hobbies and spending time with friends right now.[8]


      1. Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
      2. Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
      4. Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
      5. Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
      6. Lisa Shield. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 11 March 2021.
      7. Patti Novak Williams. Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.

      About This Article

      Written by:
      Dating Coach
      This article was written by Connell Barrett and by wikiHow staff writer, Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA. Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation, his own relationship consulting business founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on his A.C.E. Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expressiveness. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmopolitan, The Oprah Magazine, and Today. This article has been viewed 54,127 times.
      26 votes - 58%
      Co-authors: 7
      Updated: May 28, 2022
      Views: 54,127
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 54,127 times.

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